Performing is my life. Go! Santana Monologue – Glee. So, in drama club, we have to perform a monologue or dialogue of our choice. It’s only 4:58. Disclaimer: The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. (ENTER Quinn Fabray)No way. "Glee" was a huge part of my life, Santana being one of my favorite characters, so it was shocking to hear … (Cut to WMHS Auditorium)SUNSHINE: Hi, I’m Sunshine Corazon, and I’ll be singing “Listen” from the movie Dreamgirls.RACHEL: Broadway show first.GLEE CLUB/AUDIENCE: Shh…Shut up. CookieKnight. (CONT'D) Slowly but surely, anybody who could do a jumping jack defected to McKinley High's nationally … I’m with Rachel on this one.BRITTANY: Gross.WILL: You’re going to have to trust me on this, guys. Any questions? It’s a court summons–child endangerment–‘cause there’s been a line of would-be Cheerios! They were epic. SANTANA: (voiceover) I should be prom queen at this school. (Cut to Will)Did you know there’s a forum on my blog that’s begging you to stop rapping?WILL: Wait, th-the kids don’t like it when I rap? I miss being popular.BECKY: This is really embarrassing.FINN: I have really great leadership skills, and, uh, I’m athletic, so I could help with the lifts and stuff. Thank you. Glee Facebook Glee Twitter Glee Season 6 Episode 8: "Wedding" Quotes I had one last gift for both of you, my legacy couples, and I wanted to give that to you myself. He then blackmails Santana into having her glee club, the Troubletones, temporarily meet with her former club, New Directions, so he can show her how they all support her. You’ll deafen them with the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together.QUINN: I understand you had your confetti cannons taken away. (Mike and Tina hold hands)JACOB: (To camera) Did you get that? Finn?SUE: My eyes are still burning. (Enter SUE) ... SUE: Oh, I am, William, I am positively drunk with confidence. Now take your juicy, vine-ripened chest fruit and get the hell out of my office. (Cut to Sue’s Office)SUE: A little bird told me that someone spent her summer vacation getting a brand-new set of melons, even though you know I have a very strict no plastics policy in Cheerios!SANTANA: (sighs)SUE: Care to comment?SANTANA: I just…SUE: What would possess a person your age to get a boob job? You’re a foreign exchange student named Sunshine Corazon because you’re from the Philippines, where it’s sunny every day.SUNSHINE: Except for the monsoons.RACHEL: Listen, Sunshine, we need chorus members; people to stand behind me and stare at me with wet, moved eyes while I sing solos. “No tryouts, just sign up.” Nobody wants to be part of a club that just anyone can join. The episode was written by Brad Falchuk and directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon, and is a tribute to Lady Gaga, the second such tribute to the artist in the show's history; the first one … You’re not the Pied Piper anymore. You’re all cut. That’s how you win. I did this for you guys.WILL: Whatever your motivations, you need to make this right, Rachel. And how doesthe school repay them? This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Ryan Murphy or Fox. Okay, I love it too much to let it go that easy. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?SAM: I don’t… know. Centrifugal force.BEISTE: You’re out.FINN: Wait. Save Script Glee 1x01 For Later. I hope you’ll consider me. But you know what does take some courage? I think that list is gonna be filled up in no time.SUE: Well, you know what your problem is? (Cut back to Finn’s tryout)FINN: Coach Beiste kicked me off the football team. None of it is going to break us.WILL: Okay, I’m really happy that you guys have all bonded. with a mouth like cat’s ass. Move. WILL (V.0.) I can’t take my eyes off them. I’m actually talking to them right now.SANTANA: I wanted people to notice me more. You come in here, pushing a kid in a wheelchair, making me look like some kind of monster because I have to tell him he can’t play?FINN: No. You’re no longer the quarterback. Coach Beiste makes us do a hundred push-ups for every minute we’re late, so…(chuckles)FINN: Yeah, you made the team, that’s cool. So why don’t youjust keep on walking?BEISTE: Hi, Will. (They fight and grab each other’s hair; Santana pushes Quinn onto the ground)(ENTER Will)WILL: Hey, hey, what is this? No one comes into my house and steals from me.BEISTE: Do not get up in the panther’s business, lady. GLEE - Sneak Peek: I couldn’t help but notice you admiring me yesterday in the courtyard.SUNSHINE: Um, what?RACHEL: Oh, you don’t speak English. Then, I heard something…SAM: (singing)“We both lie silent and still in the dead of the night. Okay just, um, come pick it up at the auditorium at 4:00 tomorrow. I mean, what with all the sign-up sheets you put in my locker room.WILL: Finn is a really good kid. (Cut to Football Locker Room)FINN: Hey, man, uh, why didn’t you show at the audition?SAM: I wanted to, I did, but after what Coach Beiste did to you… Do you know how everybody talks about you Glee guys?FINN: Oh, yeah, you get used to all that.SAM: Finn, I’m, I’m the new guy. The Quarterback is the third episode of Glee's fifth season and the ninety-first … (laughter)(They throw a slushie in Kurt’s face)KURT: I don’t suppose there’s any way you could just cut out that last part, is there?JACOB: Mm-mm. Consider this a wakeup call. You’re serious? Absolutely not. From Season 6 Episode 3 "Jagged Little Tapestry", aired January 16th, 2015 (laughs) Now let’s go out there and show the school how cool it’s going to be, how cool we can be. And if there’s someone at the school that can help us do that, they’re in.RACHEL: You know what? The Purple Piano Project; I Am Unicorn; Asian F; Pot o’ Gold* The First Time; Mash Off* Once an entire season is completed, I will zip together all the … Standing up and singing about something. (laughter and cheering)(Cut to Teacher’s Lounge)WILL: Do you mind if I join you? (Cut to Teacher’s Lounge)SUE: Beiste is on the move, Operation Mean Girl is a go. You saw it here first. Say some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of, or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by dead alcoholic crump. I thought you said she could sing.RACHEL: I guess she didn’t want to hang out with us losers. Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow Glee Clubbers?FINN: Yes. They fell in love over the summer at… Asian Camp. These come for someone who found part of the script whilst on the set of Glee. (To camera) Hi, I’m Jacob Ben Israel with Glee’s Big Gay Summer with all the Glee Club dish you’re dying to know. (Cut to Mike and Tina)How do you get the white on rice? But you got to help me first. He’d like to try out for the team.BEISTE: You screwing with me?FINN: No, no. (Cut to Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson in hallway)Rachel, how do you respond to rumors you’re incredibly difficult to work with?FINN: Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that.RACHEL: We’ve been dating all summer.FINN: Rachel’s what you’d call a controllist.RACHEL: I-I’m controlling. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves:’ the finger wag, the shoulder shimmy, and the one where you pretend to twirl to invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips, so you know what, maybe that’s why it didn’t work out, maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany, maybe it’s just that you are utterly, utterly, intolerable. I’m the captain of the USS Kick Ass,  not the USS Back Talk.FINN: Please, Coach, don’t do this to me. And…she has a remarkable voice. You didn’t do this because you love Glee Club. Studies show that the best way to bring in alumni donations is through a successful athletic department–specifically, a winning football team.SUE: Who’s this?BEISTE:  I’m Shannon Beiste; I’m the new football coach. (smacks Quinn)QUINN: You can’t hit me!SANTANA: Oh, sure I can, unless you got yourself knocked up again, slut. I like a challenge.SUE: First of all, a female football coach, like a male nurse–sin against nature. If I were prom queen, I could get Brittany to drop the four-eyed loser and go for the real queen. (Majority of club gets up to leave)FINN: Just wait. Suspending disbelief for entertainment purposes is one thing. I’ll-I’ll-I’ll go talk to Sunshine now and just let her know how truly welcome she really is. Something that doesn't involve sex would be… Okay, we both knew it was just a matter of time.FINN: I think you’re forgetting I’m not the quarterback anymore. Swaying in background can be fun!SUNSHINE: Thank you.RACHEL: Okay. I was wrong before. Like I don’t get what the big deal is.SUE: Well, the big deal is that a person who has to pump her nonnies full of gravy to feel good about herself clearly doesn’t have the self-esteem to be my head cheerleader. This is a full 61 page draft TV script from Glee Pilot with 16 cast member signatures. You’re right. You’re all coffee and no omelet.SUE: (whispers): That doesn’t make any sense.WILL: Coach, uh, Beiste, I-I think you understand our frustration. Quinn will replace you.SANTANA: What did…? My buddy Sam’s gonna try out. In honor of Naya Rivera's passing, I compiled a list of her best performances as Santana Lopez as "Glee". Not cool. I don’t like being screwed with! Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?SUNSHINE: Okay. Artie?ARTIE: I really want to play. (They perform “Empire State of Mind” in the courtyard but the rest of the school is unimpressed)(Cut to Sue’s Office)WILL: Hey, Sue. While Brittany often makes unintelligent and nonsensical remarks, Santana rarely comments negatively but f… Right?ARTIE: We didn’t even place.VOICEOVER: And that’s what you missed on Glee.JACOB: Up here. Only difference now is that none of us really care.MERCEDES: Kurt’s right. I haven’t been very welcoming, but please, please, don’t take this out on Finn.BEISTE: Am I through here, Principal Figgins?FIGGINS: Mm-hmm. Dustin Goolsby, new coach of Vocal Adrenaline.SUNSHINE: Oh, and they gave me and my mom a condo and a green card.WILL: How did you even find out about her?SUE: Hey, Will, I went ahead and made that phone call. High school is a dry run for the rest of your life. (Cut to Choir Room)FINN: So, Sam, tell us about yourself.SAM: My name’s Sam Evans. Finally, everyone has disappeared except for Rachel, Kurt, Arty, MERCEDES, TINA, who TWITCHES and HANK -- the last of the “in crowd” still in Glee Club. … I mean, after all, that’s why it didn’t work out with you and Blaine, right? Leave the Danish.BEISTE: Anyone sitting here?SUE: Yes. You ignored me for weeks this summer.ARTIE: I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman.TINA: And then when we did get together, all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. That’s a steer withsix teats and no oink. (Cut to Figgin’s Office)FIGGINS: Show us on the doll where Coach Beiste touched you.BRITTANY: Here and here.BEISTE: This is outrageous.SUE: I’ll say. SANTANA: I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. We’re a family. These seats are currently being occupied by my ghost friends.BEISTE: I beg your pardon?SUE: My ghost friends. GLEE TV SCRIPT SCREENPLAY WITH SIGNATURES AUTOGRAPHS REPRINT A unique gift for any musical lover!! Are those dog poop cookies?SUE: No, that’s the flaxseed oil you’re smelling. Go! Is this happening? (Cut back to Finn and Artie walking down hallway)FINN: Dude, I’m sympathetic for you; I just don’t see you on the football team.ARTIE: Imagine you were pushing me in this big hunk of metal down the field at full speed. (Cut to Noah Puckerman in football locker room)Confirm or deny the rumor that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy.PUCK: It’s true. I hadn’t thought about that.SUE: Beiste needs to be stopped, and I need your help to topple her. So here’s a message for everyone that reads your blog. Glee Pilot Script 1x01. Everyone still hates us. Uploaded by. They have had a sexual relationship and have an intimate friendship. style. (sighs) I’m just…I’m very worried. This is about me. What was the biggest challenge in writing a Glee script? (She stares longingly at BRITTANY and ARTIE) She’s so gullible, I could convince her that by royal decree, I’d made her being with me the law of the land.